There is one thing I hear from photography clients more often than almost anything else: "I hate having my picture taken."
Sometimes it's said with a laugh. Sometimes it's accompanied by a list of things someone dislikes about their appearance. And sometimes the person is so uncomfortable with the idea of being photographed that they've avoided professional portraits for years.
But here's something worth knowing: Being comfortable in front of a camera isn't something you should have to figure out on your own.
You don't need to know how to pose, where to put your hands, which angle is your best or how to make a natural expression on command. Those are things an experienced portrait photographer should help you with.
Whether you need a professional headshot, want a beautiful portrait of yourself or simply wish you could stop dreading photographs, there are ways to make the experience more comfortable.
And none of them requires you to become a different person.
Why Do So Many People Hate Having Their Picture Taken?
Most of us are accustomed to seeing ourselves in mirrors, where our expressions are constantly changing. A photograph captures a fraction of a second, often revealing an expression or angle we barely recognize.
It's one reason photographs can feel surprisingly unfamiliar.
There is also a difference between how we experience ourselves and how a camera records us. In everyday life, people see us moving, speaking, laughing and interacting. Our appearance is part of a much larger impression.
A single photograph has to communicate something about us without any of that movement or context.
Then there are our past experiences.
Perhaps someone once took an unflattering photograph and posted it without asking. Maybe you remember an awkward school portrait or a photographer who told you to smile without offering any direction.
Experiences like these can influence how we feel about being photographed for years.
But an unsuccessful photograph isn't necessarily an accurate reflection of how you look. It may simply be an unsuccessful photograph.
A good portrait isn't just about the person in front of the camera. It's also about the decisions being made behind it.
You Don't Have to Be Photogenic
I have never particularly liked the idea that some people are photogenic and others simply aren't.
Certainly, some people are more practiced at being photographed. Models, actors and people who regularly appear in front of cameras often become familiar with their expressions, posture and angles.
But that's experience, not an exclusive physical characteristic.
What we often describe as being photogenic is the result of several things working together: lighting, composition, camera position, expression, timing and the photographer's ability to recognize when those elements align.
A person can look entirely different depending on where the light falls, how the camera is positioned or what happens in the brief moment the shutter is released.
This is why I approach portrait photography as a collaboration rather than expecting someone to arrive knowing how to look good.
You bring yourself. I bring the technical knowledge, visual judgment and direction.
We figure out the rest together.
What If You Don't Know How to Pose?
Good. You don't need to.
One of the most common misunderstandings about professional portrait photography is that the person being photographed is supposed to know what to do.
Where should you stand? Should you cross your arms? Tilt your head? Smile? Look away? What on earth are you supposed to do with your hands?
Left to figure all of this out, almost anyone would feel awkward.
During a portrait session, I guide people through the small adjustments that make a difference.
Sometimes that means shifting your weight from one leg to another. Turning your shoulders slightly. Changing the position of your hands. Adjusting your chin or finding a more relaxed posture.
Other times, it means asking you to move, interact with your surroundings or simply stop thinking about the camera for a moment.
The goal isn't to arrange you into a collection of predetermined poses.
It's to find positions and expressions that work with your features, personality and the kind of photograph we're creating.
What Should You Do With Your Hands?
If you've ever suddenly become aware that you have two hands and absolutely no idea what to do with them, you're in good company.
Hands are surprisingly expressive in photographs. They can communicate ease, confidence, tension, intimacy or movement.
Sometimes a hand belongs in a pocket. Sometimes it rests against a chair, touches a sleeve or settles naturally in your lap.
The right position depends on the composition and what we want the image to communicate.
You shouldn't have to memorize a series of hand positions before your session. I'll help you find what works.
You Don't Have to Smile in Every Photograph
Some of my favorite portraits have very little to do with smiling.
A thoughtful expression, a direct gaze, a subtle hint of amusement or a moment of quiet confidence can communicate just as much as a broad smile.
Of course, if we're creating an approachable professional headshot, a genuine smile may be exactly what we want.
But there is an enormous difference between asking someone to smile and creating an environment where a natural expression can emerge.
I pay close attention to the small changes in expression that happen between more deliberate poses.
Sometimes the photograph that feels most like you is the one taken just after you stop trying so hard.
Five Ways to Feel More Comfortable Before Your Portrait Session
1. Wear something that feels like you
Clothing can make an enormous difference in how comfortable you feel.
That doesn't necessarily mean wearing your everyday clothes. You might want to explore something more glamorous, sophisticated, playful or unexpected.
The important thing is that your wardrobe feels intentional and that you can move and breathe comfortably in it.
If you're constantly adjusting a neckline, worrying about a garment or wondering whether an outfit looks right, it's harder to relax.
Wardrobe planning is part of the portrait experience, so you don't need to make every decision alone.
2. Tell your photographer what makes you uncomfortable
If there's something about being photographed that makes you nervous, say so.
Perhaps you dislike seeing your profile. Maybe you're self-conscious about your smile or you don't like how you look in photographs taken from certain angles.
You can also tell me when there's an aspect of your appearance that you don't want emphasized.
Knowing these things helps me approach the session thoughtfully.
It doesn't mean I agree that there's something wrong with the feature you're concerned about. It simply means your comfort and preferences deserve consideration.
3. Stop trying to practice the perfect expression
You don't need to spend hours in front of a mirror rehearsing smiles or finding your best side.
In fact, trying to reproduce one specific expression can sometimes make a photograph feel more rigid.
Instead, think about how you'd like the finished photographs to feel.
Approachable? Confident? Elegant? Creative? Warm? Serious? Playful?
Those descriptions give us much more useful direction than trying to recreate a particular facial expression.
4. Give yourself permission to take direction
You don't have to control every detail of the session.
Part of hiring a professional photographer is being able to trust someone else's perspective.
I'll pay attention to things you may not notice, including light, posture, composition, background distractions and subtle changes in expression.
You're always welcome to ask questions, offer ideas or tell me when something doesn't feel right.
The process should feel collaborative, not like a performance you're being judged on.
5. Don't wait until you look different
This is perhaps the most important suggestion.
People postpone photographs for all kinds of reasons.
They want to lose weight. Grow out their hair. Improve their skin. Get in better shape. Feel younger. Feel more confident.
There will almost always be something you could change.
But your life is happening now.
Whether you're updating a professional photograph or creating a personal portrait, you don't need to reach some imagined future version of yourself before you're worthy of being photographed.
What Actually Happens During a Professional Portrait Session?
A thoughtfully planned session should involve much more than standing in front of a camera and being told to smile.
Before the session
We'll discuss why you want the photographs, how they will be used and what you'd like them to communicate.
I'll help you think through wardrobe, styling, the setting and the overall visual direction.
If you have inspiration images, you're welcome to share them. If you have absolutely no idea what you want, that's fine too.
During the session
I'll guide you through posing, positioning and expression.
We'll make adjustments as we go, exploring different approaches rather than expecting every photograph to work immediately.
You'll also have opportunities to review images during the process, so we can discuss what's working and what you'd like to explore further.
You don't need to arrive feeling confident. The experience is designed to help you become more comfortable as we work.
After the session
You'll review your photographs and choose the images you'd like to have professionally finished.
As a professional retoucher, I handle that final stage of the process myself.
My approach to retouching is to refine a photograph without removing the qualities that make someone recognizable.
That might involve subtle adjustments to lighting, color, distractions and temporary skin imperfections.
The goal isn't to create an entirely different face.
It's to finish the photograph with the same care and attention that went into creating it.
A Good Portrait Should Still Look Like You
One of the things I find most interesting about portrait photography is the relationship between how we see ourselves and how other people see us.
We tend to focus on details. The shape of a smile. A line around the eyes. The angle of a jaw. A feature we've spent years wishing were different.
But a successful portrait is about much more than individual features.
It's about expression, presence, personality and the relationship between a person and the space they occupy.
A technically beautiful photograph that doesn't feel like you isn't necessarily a successful portrait.
And a photograph doesn't have to erase every perceived imperfection to be beautiful.
My goal is to create photographs that feel considered, flattering and recognizable, while leaving room for the personality that makes each person interesting.
Frequently Asked Questions
What if I'm really awkward in front of the camera?
You don't need any experience being photographed. I'll guide you through posing and expression, adjusting things as we go. Feeling awkward at the beginning doesn't mean you'll feel that way throughout the session.
What if I don't like my smile?
We can explore a variety of expressions, including subtle smiles, relaxed expressions and more serious portraits. There's no requirement to smile in every photograph.
Can a professional photographer make me look better in photos?
A photographer can make thoughtful choices about lighting, camera position, posing, composition and timing that significantly influence how you're photographed. That doesn't mean changing how you look. It means understanding how to photograph you well.
Will my photographs be retouched?
Yes. My finished portraits include professional retouching, with an emphasis on natural results that preserve your recognizable features and individual character.
Do I need to feel confident before booking a session?
Not at all. Confidence isn't a prerequisite for being photographed. Preparation, thoughtful direction and a collaborative atmosphere can make the experience feel much more manageable.
You Deserve Photographs You Actually Want to Keep
There are plenty of reasons to have your portrait taken.
Perhaps you need a professional headshot that represents who you are today. Maybe you'd like a beautiful photograph of yourself for no particular occasion. Perhaps you want to document a relationship, a personal milestone or a moment in your life that feels important.
Whatever your reason, you shouldn't have to know how to pose, perform confidence or pretend to enjoy being photographed.
That's where working with an experienced photographer can make a difference.
I'm Erin O'Connor, a professional photographer, retoucher and former art curator with approximately 30 years of experience in photography and the visual arts. I create thoughtfully directed portraits for individuals, couples, families and professionals throughout Bend, Redmond and Central Oregon.
If you've been putting off having your photograph taken because you don't feel comfortable in front of a camera, I'd love to help you approach it differently.
Explore my Private Portrait Experience or Professional Headshots & Personal Branding.
And when you're ready, let's talk about what you'd love to have photographed.
